Do you ever wonder why, in spite of all the work you are doing on yourself, all the healing, spiritual development, etc. you still find yourself having regular setbacks? Even more interestingly: have you ever noticed that these tend to happen precisely when you had the impression that, this time, something had shifted, you had turned the corner, you may even have been about to get a breakthrough?… I sometimes receive emails from clients saying how great they have felt after a session sometimes for weeks or even months… until things seem to start unraveling… When this happens, we don’t only tend to feel discouraged but to take it as a sign of failure, as the symbol of our inability to produce lasting change…
In reality, having setbacks is what makes us being human. It is part of the way we evolve and move forward in life, alternating phases of extension and contraction in ways very similar to the ‘in’ and ‘out’ of breathing. What the upside is to initiation, the downside is to ‘regression’ (a period for reverting back and regenerate)… Both are necessary phases in our process of constant transformation. Understanding this, acknowledging it as what is happening without making too much of a big deal of it is sometimes enough to shift the situation. Indeed, we often tend to make things worse because we contract around them (we are upset, frustrated, judgmental… all things that are understandable but just don’t help). If, on the contrary, we take the time to pause and acknowledge what’s happening, we are able to start taking some of the negative energy out of the whole process, disengage and move beyond the setback.
Here is a simple step by step process to surrender and move beyond setbacks so that things can start falling together… again!
1. Stop and acknowledge to yourself what you are thinking and feeling…internally (or out loud). Recognizing what is and even labeling it might be important (some may even find helpful to write things down on paper).
2. Notice any trace of blame or judgment; take a few deep breath, concentrate on your heart chakra, and replace it with loving kindness and compassion; if appropriate, support the process with positive statements.
3. Do one or two of the daily practices that help you get back to your center and shift to the positive, to the ray of Light in you (repeating an affirmation or intention, looking at an image, listening to a particular music, smelling an essential oil, doing a salutation, or just taking a few deep breaths…). This will not ‘fix’ your problem necessarily but help you reconnect with a deepest part of yourself, that wise aspect of your being that gets the biggest picture, that knows that you are more than that setback.
Let me know how you are doing and, as always, don’t hesitate to reach out if I can be of any support on your journey.
“Be crumbled. So wild flowers will come up where you are.
You have been stony for too many years. Try something different. Surrender.” –Rumi
Béatrice | Contemporary Shamanic Healer
Allowing The Light