Moving Beyond Setbacks

Moving Beyond Setbacks

Do you ever wonder why, in spite of all the work you are doing on yourself, all the healing, spiritual development, etc. you still find yourself having regular setbacks? Even more interestingly: have you ever noticed that these tend to happen precisely when you had the impression that, this time, something had shifted, you had turned the corner, you may even have been about to get a breakthrough?… I sometimes receive emails from clients saying how great they have felt after a session sometimes for weeks or even months… until things seem to start unraveling… When this happens, we don’t only tend to feel discouraged but to take it as a sign of failure, as the symbol of our inability to produce lasting change…


In reality, having setbacks is what makes us being human. It is part of the way we evolve and move forward in life, alternating phases of extension and contraction in ways very similar to the ‘in’ and ‘out’ of breathing. What the upside is to initiation, the downside is to ‘regression’ (a period for reverting back and regenerate)… Both are necessary phases in our process of constant transformation. Understanding this, acknowledging it as what is happening without making too much of a big deal of it is sometimes enough to shift the situation. Indeed, we often tend to make things worse because we contract around them (we are upset, frustrated, judgmental… all things that are understandable but just don’t help). If, on the contrary, we take the time to pause and acknowledge what’s happening, we are able to start taking some of the negative energy out of the whole process, disengage and move beyond the setback.


Here is a simple step by step process to surrender and move beyond setbacks so that things can start falling together… again!

1. Stop and acknowledge to yourself what you are thinking and feeling…internally (or out loud). Recognizing what is and even labeling it might be important (some may even find helpful to write things down on paper).


2. Notice any trace of blame or judgment; take a few deep breath, concentrate on your heart chakra, and replace it with loving kindness and compassion; if appropriate, support the process with positive statements.


3. Do one or two of the daily practices that help you get back to your center and shift to the positive, to the ray of Light in you (repeating an affirmation or intention, looking at an image, listening to a particular music, smelling an essential oil, doing a salutation, or just taking a few deep breaths…). This will not ‘fix’ your problem necessarily but help you reconnect with a deepest part of yourself, that wise aspect of your being that gets the biggest picture, that knows that you are more than that setback.


Let me know how you are doing and, as always, don’t hesitate to reach out if I can be of any support on your journey.


“Be crumbled. So wild flowers will come up where you are.

You have been stony for too many years. Try something different. Surrender.” –Rumi



Béatrice | Contemporary Shamanic Healer 

Béatrice Pouligny
Allowing The Light
February 2013

By |2018-06-19T11:22:35+00:00February 13th, 2013|Awareness, Compassion, Loving Kindness|7 Comments


  1. Phoebe Reeve February 13, 2013 at 10:37 pm - Reply

    Hello Dear One,

    Thank you so much for sending me your newsletter. I love it and receive much support and insight from it.

    This week I am recalling Don Juan Matus – my favorite quotes from him are,
    “My tyrant is my greatest teacher”
    “The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”

    Blessings to you,


    • Beatrice1 February 14, 2013 at 3:05 am - Reply

      Thank you Phoebe. I love the second quote. It reminds me of one of Hafiz’ poem: “Now that all your worry has proved such an unlucrative business, why not find a better job…”

  2. Marie-Christine February 14, 2013 at 2:45 am - Reply

    Thank you Beatrice for reminding us that setbacks have the important purpose of regeneration. We are so used to experience and think of them as negative, but seen in such a positive light the down phase can be both enlightening and a great opportunity! It then becomes a necessary step back allowing us to recharge for the next forward move… as long as we don’t sabotage it by blaming and judging ourselves – a major challenge for so many of us…

    • Beatrice1 February 14, 2013 at 3:02 am - Reply

      It is always possible to start over again, in each moment, and show ourselves a little bit of compassion… So never too late for each of us to learn!

  3. Marie-Christine February 14, 2013 at 3:09 am - Reply

    Good point. I like that. Each moment we can start again. I’ll remember that.

  4. Jessica February 28, 2013 at 2:11 am - Reply

    This is a lovely article! The steps you provide are very helpful. Thank you!

    • Beatrice1 February 28, 2013 at 3:01 am - Reply

      You are very welcome Jessica. Hope all is well for you.

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