Feeling Lost? It May Be Time to Reset Who You Think You Are

(Photo by Christian Holzinger on Unsplash)

Many people come to me because they feel lost.

They may be at a crossroads in their work, relationships, or sense of purpose. They may have built a life that once made sense, yet now feel disconnected from themselves. Or they may simply know that the way they have been living no longer feels true, without yet knowing what comes next.

Feeling lost can be deeply uncomfortable. We often interpret it as a failure: a sign that we have made wrong choices, lost our direction, or should somehow have figured things out by now.

But feeling lost is often not a sign that you have lost yourself, but a sign that an old version of yourself is no longer able to lead the way.

When an Old Identity Can No Longer Lead the Way

This is a frequent theme in my writing because it lies at the core of the spiritual path. We are not only asked to change what we do. Over time, we are invited to change who—or what—we identify with.

Many of us have built an identity around wounded parts of ourselves: the part that learned to achieve, please, protect, care for everyone else, stay invisible, remain in control, or prove its worth. These parts may once have helped us survive, belong, or succeed. Yet eventually, they can become too small for the life that is trying to emerge through us.

Over time, the work is to shift from identifying primarily with our wounds, fears, old roles, and limitations toward increasingly embodying our Soul or Highest Self.

This matters not only personally, but also collectively. We can change structures, policies, and behaviors — and those changes matter. But if the identity and energy from which we act remain the same, we often recreate what we hoped to change. Lasting transformation requires more than clear goals and strategy. It requires a shift in who we understand and choose ourselves to be, individually and together. Not what we do, but what we are doing it from.

It also matters deeply in the world we are living in now. So many familiar certainties are being shaken. Division, violence, and instability affect our sense of direction, safety, and identity.

I have written elsewhere about meeting the fear of the unknown and about finding ourselves in uncertain times.

Here, I want to focus on a more personal coaching question:

Who have you been trying to be—and who are you becoming now?

Who Have I Been Trying to Be—and Who Am I Becoming?

The identity that may have helped you succeed, belong, stay safe, care for others, or meet expectations may no longer fit. Perhaps you have always been the responsible one, the caretaker, the achiever, or the person who keeps everything together. Perhaps you have built a life around what you thought you should want, or around beliefs about what was possible for someone like you.

But now, life may begin asking something different of you.

Not necessarily a dramatic reinvention. But a deeper shift in how you see yourself, what you allow yourself to desire, and what you trust yourself to choose.

In my Shamanic Life Coaching work, we create space to reconnect with the deeper essence beneath old stories and patterns. From there, you can recognize what is still true, what no longer belongs to you, and what is asking to emerge.

You might begin with these questions:

What identity(ies) am I being asked to release?

What feels constricting in the way I currently see myself?

What is one small choice I could make this week that feels really dear to my soul–maybe even out of character–rather than from an identity I have outgrown?

It may be a boundary, a conversation, a creative step, a new commitment, or simply allowing yourself to rest without guilt.

You do not need to have your entire future mapped out. You only need to begin reclaiming your capacity to choose.

This is at the heart of Shamanic Life Coaching: not simply helping you make better decisions, but helping you reconnect with the deeper self from which meaningful decisions can arise.

Because when you reset who you think you are, your life begins to shift with it.

Béatrice Pouligny | Shaman, Spiritual Healer and Coach

beatrice.pouligny@shamanicspiritualhealing.com